Thursday, August 09, 2012


Age, and wisdom, have made me exceptionally cautious about the people I invite into my personal space.  Not everyone is allowed access to my private life and those invited are usually vetted for some time before I feel comfortable enough to welcome them in.  

Recently I became acquainted with a group of women who I’ve been able to spend much time with.  I was open to the possibilities of new friendships and bonds being formed.  But women being women, it soon became clear that things were not as picture perfect as they first appeared.  And women being women it took no time at all for the claws to come out, for jealousy to flare, and the possibility of any enduring friendships to come to a swift and screeching halt.

After witnessing some seriously bad behavior I, and another in that little clique, were accused of our own bad behavior.  The accuser cast a shadow on our integrity while smiling in our faces the entire time.  Our behavior was deemed conduct unbecoming to anyone in the environment where we were interacting.  It was said that malicious comments had been uttered and that there was an altercation where we treated another badly.  When the accusation was brought to my attention it left me stunned and bewildered because the entirety of it was a complete and total lie, a bold-faced fabrication constructed solely around a difference of opinions.  It was a betrayal of monumental proportions.

As quickly as that bold faced lie brought folks’ true colors to light, it shut the door on any possibility of any in this group being welcomed into my world.  It assured that I will, from this point forward, deal with them only at arm’s length, forever wary of their motives.

Actions speak much louder than words and I have had little to say to anyone associated with this sad and unnecessary situation.  The lies have already done their damage and nothing said can erase the residue of doubt they left behind.  But as a dear and trusted friend reminded me, what’s done in the dark will always come to the light and I imagine that with no help from me at all, the truth will cast a bright glow on the individual who set us on this path.  

Sadly though, when all is said and done, the door to any friendships between myself and any of the other women will forever be closed, and locked, none of them welcome into my private life.  I just can't take that risk.

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